ayosu-itsuki said: any suggestions then?
passive tense are things like “it was chasing me” “while i was being chased” etc. this type of wording makes a story dull because there is no action going on; was, would, were, -ing, etc are all passive words because they disconnect the reader from the action and also indicate all of the events described already happened and more importantly, have been beaten/won/accomplished/survived.
past tense in general makes the reader acknowledge off the bat that the scary story already happened, and has concluded. not necessarily wrong, but it is difficult to elicit a new sense of actual fear with that kind of tense.
there are other things that ruin creepypastas like vague wording “i felt a sense of dread” and on the flipside, meticulous detail “i had to do this particular task 3 times before new stuff happened”.
when you want to describe an emotion and make the reader empathize with it, you don’t just say “i felt sad” you need to say a hole opened in your chest and burning hot tears welled up in your eyes or something i dont know. you cant leave it alone at just feeling sad. however one of the hardest things for me to empathize with is sensations like pain, like being cut or ripped apart or crushed; most people have never experienced such things, so the writer would have to find a way to describe it that they think would help the reader feel it as well
meticulous detail is usually when a writer shucks in unnecessary tedium because they want to move the plot along. best example, a lot of videogame creepypastas end up saying how many battles they fought or how many times they had to do x to win, in order to move along in the story, which is a big problem.
writing about paranormal experiences with videogames is hard enough as it is, because the limitations they have are very well known, especially with older games. yet, much of the time it’s someone choosing an obscure old videogame and making the plot “but it’s glitched/cursed/devs hid a metagame/hacked/haunted!!!”. while these stories worked in the beginning when there was a possibility of glitching out the games and combing them yourself, the presence of the internet and people willing to actually rake through them all and report back about glitches makes stories about them, honestly, stupid.
and a lot of the time, the writer tries to make the game in the story go beyond its graphical/functional limitations, which makes it even worse because at that point there is a complete absolute disconnect from the possible reality and a person trying to be creepy.
id like to say the best horror is either completely disconnected from possibility (eternal darkness is a good game about that) or is something the reader can wonder if it will happen to them. but, as nobody has ever been traumatized by a poltergeist living in their old copy of duck hunt and the limitations and newness of games is still a thing, creepypastas about games are rarely, if ever, good
ah im sorry i went on a tangent but ive been up since 4 and reading crappy storiess