Dirk strider is so dumb. Honestly there is nothing sexy or interesting about him. He wears triangle anime shades. He has a fucking hat on his shirt. He thinks knowing rudimentary philosophy makes him some kind of intellectual badass who is better than everyone else. He wears baggy pants and horse jockey wear. He probably isnt even short enough to be a horse jockey. He has a puppet fetish and a horse fetish and HIS HAIR STICKS UP LIKE AN ANIME CHARACTER. HE IS SO UNSEXY. HE IS SO DUMB. I HATE HIM. I hate dirk strider. I loathe him. I despise him. I hate him so much. His orange eyes that looks like… like fire. Hell fire. This fire in my skin. This burning desire is turning me to sin. But its not my fault! Im not to blame. Its not my fault. Why did god make the devil so much stronger than a man? Protect me maria. Dont let the siren cast his spell. Dont let his fire sear my flesh and bones. DESTROY DIRK STRIDER and let him taste the FIRES OF HELL!! Or else let him be mine and mine alone…. I will burn down all of paris if i have to.
‘im not a feminist’ ‘why?’ ‘because i don’t hate men’
im living in paranoia that i won’t know when homestuck updates and i’ll open tumblr and the first post on my dash will just be every possible spoiler shoved into one picture
the new year is fast approaching and I cant wait for every form or paper I have to date to look like this
my brother’s girlfriend said that im very nice and pretty im smiling my goodness what a nice person :’33
Wizards can make fun of muggles all they want but the joke’s on them because phones can do in two seconds what they use owls and high-level magic to do, AND we have tanks. Try to avada kedavra a tank you stick-wiggling nerds
when youre running what do your cock and balls do? do they just flap against your thighs or
my dick becomes rock hard to steer my body using wind currents, almost like a sail and said wind causes my scrotum to tighten close to my body for maximum speed
wait this isn’t about blowing your nose is it
I’m sorry, I’m dying of laughter. Mom of a teenage boy.